Wife and I often talk about different aspects of raising a child (yes! we have a new little entrant due). Today's conversation was about what kind of songs should we listen to while we are pregnant. And a thought crossed both our minds - how important is it to create the perfect environment for the kid while it is still in the womb and also after it is born?
If we expose the kid to just the good side of the world and shield it from any sort of negativity, does it ensure that the child would grow up better than had we not done this? At some point as it grows, it is bound to come in contact with the society. For e.g., the first few weeks in school would be a downpour of so many new things - new characteristics of nature/people/things, new sounds, new smells, new sights, so many more choices to make at each step. It's mind would be making decisions round the clock about every small thing it sees and all of those decisions would be fleeting. It may not recall that it made a certain choice until it makes it a few times and then the choice sticks.
We cannot control every aspect of this decision making as it experiences the world all by itself the first time. And this does not take too long to happen. The child would barely be 2 years old when it first starts meeting strangers. And yet there is a strong inclination amongst parents to not let any negative/disharmonious event occur around the child. Taking the example of the specific songs that we listen while still pregnant - does it really matter whether those songs are meaningful? Or is it that they just need to be melodious? I can understand that we don't want cacophonies to be the first sounds to torment our ears. But surely the baby cannot make a difference between whether or not the songs carry a positive meaning or not. Or can it?
So what do we want the child to know and more important - not know as it grows. Can we even control that? Should we be at the best of our behaviors in front of the kid or just be our normal selves? Or do we actually change who we are in the whole process of raising the child? My take on it is there has to be the perfect imbalance around the child as it grows. It should see the duality of things around it, slowly and gradually. This will help it develop reason - an ability to identify different aspects of the same thing - people can be happy or sad, smells can be sweet or pungent, food can be savory or sour, sounds can be symphonies or shrill. Negative thoughts are as real and natural as their polar counterparts. It is this reality of nature that we cannot/should not mask from the child. And this process starts not just when the child is born but even when it is still within the security of its mothers womb.
If we expose the kid to just the good side of the world and shield it from any sort of negativity, does it ensure that the child would grow up better than had we not done this? At some point as it grows, it is bound to come in contact with the society. For e.g., the first few weeks in school would be a downpour of so many new things - new characteristics of nature/people/things, new sounds, new smells, new sights, so many more choices to make at each step. It's mind would be making decisions round the clock about every small thing it sees and all of those decisions would be fleeting. It may not recall that it made a certain choice until it makes it a few times and then the choice sticks.
We cannot control every aspect of this decision making as it experiences the world all by itself the first time. And this does not take too long to happen. The child would barely be 2 years old when it first starts meeting strangers. And yet there is a strong inclination amongst parents to not let any negative/disharmonious event occur around the child. Taking the example of the specific songs that we listen while still pregnant - does it really matter whether those songs are meaningful? Or is it that they just need to be melodious? I can understand that we don't want cacophonies to be the first sounds to torment our ears. But surely the baby cannot make a difference between whether or not the songs carry a positive meaning or not. Or can it?
So what do we want the child to know and more important - not know as it grows. Can we even control that? Should we be at the best of our behaviors in front of the kid or just be our normal selves? Or do we actually change who we are in the whole process of raising the child? My take on it is there has to be the perfect imbalance around the child as it grows. It should see the duality of things around it, slowly and gradually. This will help it develop reason - an ability to identify different aspects of the same thing - people can be happy or sad, smells can be sweet or pungent, food can be savory or sour, sounds can be symphonies or shrill. Negative thoughts are as real and natural as their polar counterparts. It is this reality of nature that we cannot/should not mask from the child. And this process starts not just when the child is born but even when it is still within the security of its mothers womb.
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